Games Over Salad, Steak, Chips and a Rocky Horror
by IfEaRnOfIsH
Summary: The Doctor and Rose attempt to go out for dinner, but the Doctor soon becomes annoyed at a keen waiter, who rather likes Rose. But he doesn't know she to his planning her own game play. A quiet war ensues.


**Author's note:**

**I do not own Doctor Who, or any restraunt for that matter. If I did own these two things, not only would I be awesome, but I would rule the world also. (Do not ask how I came to this conclusion. I just would, O.K?!)**

**This is something VERY silly I thought up today when me, my sisters and my mum went to the local Harvester, and what we got up to. **

**I don't care if people disagree with my assumption that the Doctor likes crotons. Why do I assume the Doctor likes crotons? Because I DO and because I can :D**

**Games over, salad, steak, chips and a Rocky Horror **

'Do you _promise _I will like the food here, Rose?'

'Course' Doctor. They do lovely steak.' Rose Tyler promised, arm in arm with the Doctor. At her remark, he screwed his face up slightly.

'You don't like steak?! Who doesn't like steak?!' Rose protested.

'Umm, vegetarians?' The Doctor shrugged.

Rose laughed as they stepped in the entrance of her chosen restaurant, and joined the back of a small queue.

The décor of the restaurant was very homely like, with small, animal ornaments adorning many shelves, and random mirrors. There were also small pots of flowers on each table. It seemed to the Doctor that the place wasn't very fire safe; the whole thing was made of wood.

He shuddered.

'What else do they do, then?' He hissed in Rose's ear.

'They do chips.' Rose whispered grudgingly.

'Marvellous!' He brightened up considerably.

A waitress soon arrived on the scene, and gave the Doctor a flirtatious smile. As he returned it, it didn't escape his attention that Rose's grip on his arm had become slightly tighter. One part of him felt glad, but a bigger part knew it was wrong; it just couldn't happen.

They were led to a table, which was adorned with an unlit candle and a pot of flowers. As the menus were handed to them, he fiddled with the flowers dismally.

'Oh come on.' Rose said once the waitress had vanished. 'Its not _that _bad.'

The Doctor made a small, disbelieving noise as he continued to mutilate the flowers.

'Leave them alone!' She hissed, smacking his hand away.

'Oi!' The Doctor gave a weak protest, and grudgingly opened his menu. He scanned the contents without enthusiasm, and promptly threw it down in the space of five seconds.

'Chips.' He said decidedly.

Rose shook her head at him, not even looking up from her menu. 'Could try something else, but _no_.' She muttered. The Doctor chose to ignore her, and peered around a wooden beam to survey the _much more interesting _world around him.

'Rose?'

'Hmmm?'

'Why are there people grouped around a table with bowls?'

Rose, again, did not raise her head from her menu.

'It's the salad bar, Doctor.'

There was a moment's silence.

'Can we go up?'

'Not yet. We have to order first.'

The Doctor grumbled loudly in an effort to catch Rose's attention before the waiter came. The Doctor noticed, with a stab of jealously and anger that he was almost certainly giving Rose _the eye. _

'What can I get for you?'

_So polite. Git. _

'Er, I'll have a steak, please.' Rose said, smiling and handing the menu to him. He grinned down at her, and, to the Doctor's utmost anguish, a well timed wink. Something bristled within him.

'And for you, sir?'

'Chips.' Rose raised her eyebrows. 'Please.' He added sourly.

The waiter looked quizzical.

'Just chips, sir?'

'Yes. Just chips.'

'Right. Well, go up to the salad bar when you're ready.'

The Doctor almost leapt out of his seat. Rose rolled her eyes as she followed him up. She grabbed a hold of his arm before he attempted to push in front of an old lady in the queue for the bowls.

'Wait.' She hissed in his ear. A disgruntled Doctor huffed quietly to himself.

When the opportunity arose, he seized a bowl.

'Right…now what?' He asked Rose quietly, who had calmly taken a bowl of her own.

'You move around, and pick up what you fancy.'

They moved around the bar, and the Doctor watched Rose as she scooped a small amount of small, bread squares into her bowl.

'What are they?'

'Crotons. Try some.'

Hesitantly, the Doctor reached out with a hand, for a spoon to be shoved in it roughly by an adamant Rose. Grumbling to himself, he scooped out a small amount, and dumped it in his bowl.

As they moved around the bar, Rose had to, many times, constantly remind the Doctor that the tongs were there to be used, and not ignored, and it was only fair on the other customers that he did not take lots of butter pots for his one roll.

When they did arrive at their table, Rose tucked in to her crotons, cucumber, and carrot and dressing with much enthusiasm, while the Doctor picked at his own crotons, carrot and bread roll, his eyes constantly on their waiter as he served the other customers.

'What's wrong?' Rose asked suddenly. The Doctor looked at her; her fork was poised in midair, and her chin rested on the palm of her hand.

'Nothing, nothing.' Was all he said. After a while, she gave a small shrug, and returned to her nearly finished salad. The Doctor returned to his brooding.

Their food was served. The Doctor pulled his chips towards him sullenly, which Rose received her steak with much enthusiasm, which earned her another wink from their waiter, much to the Doctor's secret displeasure.

He watched Rose without her knowledge, and soon began to plot mercilessly.

The waiter came to collect their empty plates half an hour later, with many winks for Rose. However, the Doctor had a simple plan to carry out.

'Oh, Rose?'

'Yes, Doctor?' Rose looked up; a small cluster of crumbs were situated just by her bottom lip.

'You've got a little something…' With a wicked mental grin, The Doctor reached over and brushed it tenderly away with his thumb.

This took the waiter by surprise as much as it did Rose.

When the Doctor was satisfied, he removed his hand and placed it on top of Rose's, which was laying stationary on the table, and gave her a small smile.

Her eyes registered shock, and the waiter scuttled away, mumbling promises of desert menus.

With a quick look to see if he had gone, The Doctor removed his hand (He tried, unsuccessfully, to ignore the small voice that didn't want it to move.) And relaxed completely, giving the baffled Rose a happy grin. He helped himself to his bowl of untouched salad, in a much more optimistic mood.

'O.K…' Rose said after a while. 'What was _all that _about?!'

'Well,' The Doctor started. 'You had something on your mouth. And I got rid of it for you.'

'Well, what was with the…' Rose faltered and looked down at her hand, which still hadn't moved.

'Needed somewhere to get rid of the crumbs.' The Doctor said with a real wicked grin.

The moment long gone, Rose reach over and whacked him on the arm.

The Doctor didn't mind much.

Desert menus were soon handed out, this time by a waitress.

'Oh?' The Doctor said slyly. 'Where did our waiter go?'

'He took his lunch early.' Said the new waitress, obviously displeased with the fact that she had to come off hers ten minutes early.

Rose glanced sideways at the Doctor out of the corner of her eye, he did seem _rather pleased with himself. _

The dissatisfied waitress disappeared, and the Doctor opened his menu.

'Fancy sharing, Rose?' He questioned innocently. Rose smiled secretly.

'Sure.' She agreed.

They both decided on a Rocky Horror, and ordered this when the waitress returned. When she had gone again, the Doctor managed to find a biro within his many pockets, and challenged Rose to a duel of squares on a napkin. The Doctor won, Rose swearing that she let him and was rechallenging him for a rematch, while the Doctor proclaimed it was because he was a time lord, not a puny human, which earned him a smack around his head.

The desert finally arrived, accompanied by two, long spoons. Their spoons were poised, and their eyes met over the whipped cream.

The unsaid challenge was declared, and they dug in.

When they finally reached the bottom, the Doctor gave up, allowing Rose to finish the last piece of deliciously warm chocolate fudge brownie, thus forfeiting the competition. He grudgingly allowed Rose a smug smile, but only because he was too full to do anything else.

When the bill was paid, Rose snuck a few pound coins on the tray the waitress provided.

'For the waiter who served us earlier.' She said. She watched the Doctor on the sigh, and, with a triumphant thrill, saw him clench his teeth.

As they exited, the Doctor caught sight of the waiter in question coming back from his lunch, and threw his brain into gear as he made a beeline straight for Rose. He seized a hold of her hand possessively, making the waiter stop in his tracks. He started for a moment, and then veered off violently to the right to make sudden conservation with a colleague.

Rose let him keep a hold of her hand until they crossed the car park and into a secluded corner where they had cleverly hid the TARDIS. It was then she tore it from his grasp, and faced him, and mischievous glint in her eye.

'Just for the record, Doctor,' she stood up of her tip-toes and kissed him briefly. 'The games have only just begun.' She said slyly, and darted into the TARDIS, grinning madly.

The Doctor stood for a moment, grinning his own manic grin. He put a finger thoughtfully to his lips.

'Well, Rose Tyler.' He said quietly. 'Bring it on.'

He entered the TARDIS, and shut the doors firmly behind him.


End file.
